Ms. Crap

Ms. Crap as I mentioned yesterday suffers from UGS (Ugly Girl Syndrome)
The problem is, she isn't aware of it so she continues to act as if she is a 9 or a 10 while the rest of the world views her as a 2 or a 3.

In addition to being ugly Ms. Crap tells lies. I remember a time a week or two after we were forced to work together that she tried to engage me in conversation. The topic of the conversation was the suicide of a mutal friend. It was very strange... out of the blue, clear sky she brought up this person's name.

At the time of this conversation we had been working on a report that was required by the state. I was miserable. I was miserable for a couple of reasons. First I was stuck in a small room with Ms. Crap. It was almost 3 o'clock and she still had morning breath that was over powering the gum I had given her. 2. Ms. Crap had a weird shaped figure...from a distance one might think see was an attractive woman with a nice figure....BUT....sitting next to her in a small room gagging on her breath and having to look at her horrendous body being shown off by the clothes she had on.......and the fact the she didn't know shit from shinola about what we were doing......anyway, she's ugly. I'm grumpy. We're alone and she brings up the subject of a person we both know who just killed himself.

Anyway...I sat and listened to her carryt on about her feelings for the man and his family and blah blah blah......and then she made a statement I knew was 100% false. I hadn't been paying much attention but as soon as I heard the lie roll of her tongue I started paying attention.

Ms. Crap claimed to be a close friend of the man and his family. She appeared upset. What I couldn't figure out was why a professional woman, one that had reached the top of the food chain in our line of work would carry on with a fabricated story about someone she didn't know.......at times appearing to be on the verge of tears...Ms. Crap had claimed to be very broken up at the funeral, so much so that she felt an obligation to address the family. She also added a detail, maybe she felt was something that would make her story more believable...but this detail was her undoing

I'm not a very good conversationalist...if that's even a word. Anyway I was at the funeral. I didn't tell Ms. Crap that. I dont know why I didn't tell her...I'm just strange sometimes. Anyway this ugly pig carried on for almost an hour. It was a complete lie. This highly educated professional woman wasted an hour of our time by acting as if she attended a funeral, which she didn't. Pretending to close to someone she didn't know, who was now dead. She acted as if she was about to cry.

Anyway, she told me that she was glad that the funeral was closed casket. It wasn't. But, I didn't tell her that. I allowed her to carry on and then as we were ready to leave I informed her that I was at the funeral...and that I did know the man pretty well. He came to the hospital to see my daughter when she was born...

HA!! There aren't word enough in the English language to describe the awkward silence between us after that.

More on Ms. Crap and what a shit bird she is in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.